tycroes48
Trekker
> Jacques Chirac, The French Prime Minister, was sitting in his office
> wondering what kind of mischief he could perpetrate against the United
> States when his telephone rang. "Hallo, Mr. Chirac!", a heavily accented
> voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland.
> I
> am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"
> "Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is
> your army?" "Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there
> is
> myself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart
> team from the pub. That makes eight!" Chirac paused. "I must tell you,
> Paddy, that I have one hundred thousand men in my army waiting to move on
> my
> command." "Begorra!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"
>
> Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Chirac, the war is
> still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!" "And what
> equipment would that be, Paddy?" Chirac asked. "Well, we have two
> combines,
> a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor." Chirac sighed, amused. "I must
> tell
> you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers.
> Also, I've increased my army to one hundred fifty thousand since we last
> spoke." "Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."
>
> Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still
> on!" We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Jackie
> McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and
> four
> boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!" Chirac was silent for
> a
> minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have
> 100
> bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by
> laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've
> increased my army to two hundred thousand!" "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!",
> said
> Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."
>
> Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr.
> Chirac! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."
> "I'm
> sorry to hear that," said Chirac. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
> "Well,"
> said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and decided
> there's no f***kin way we can feed two hundred thousand prisoners."
>
>
> wondering what kind of mischief he could perpetrate against the United
> States when his telephone rang. "Hallo, Mr. Chirac!", a heavily accented
> voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland.
> I
> am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"
> "Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is
> your army?" "Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there
> is
> myself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart
> team from the pub. That makes eight!" Chirac paused. "I must tell you,
> Paddy, that I have one hundred thousand men in my army waiting to move on
> my
> command." "Begorra!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"
>
> Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Chirac, the war is
> still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!" "And what
> equipment would that be, Paddy?" Chirac asked. "Well, we have two
> combines,
> a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor." Chirac sighed, amused. "I must
> tell
> you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers.
> Also, I've increased my army to one hundred fifty thousand since we last
> spoke." "Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."
>
> Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still
> on!" We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Jackie
> McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and
> four
> boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!" Chirac was silent for
> a
> minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have
> 100
> bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by
> laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've
> increased my army to two hundred thousand!" "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!",
> said
> Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."
>
> Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr.
> Chirac! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."
> "I'm
> sorry to hear that," said Chirac. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
> "Well,"
> said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and decided
> there's no f***kin way we can feed two hundred thousand prisoners."
>
>
