• Welcome to the Land Rover UK Forums

    You are currently viewing the site as a guest and some content may not be available to you.

    Registration is quick and easy and will give you full access to the site and allow you to ask questions or make comments and join in on the conversation. If you would like to register then please Register Now

Visit to the Vet.


A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid
her pet on the table, the vet' pulled out his stethoscope and listened to
the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet' shook his head sadly and
said, "I'm so sorry, your Duck 'Cuddles' has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any
testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet' rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a
few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind
put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top
to bottom. He then looked at the vet' with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet' patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later
with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at
the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on it's haunches, shook its
head, miaowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet' looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I've already
told you, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet' turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced
a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "£150!", she cried,
"£150... ... just to tell me my duck is dead!!"

The vet' shrugged. "I'm sorry. but if you'd taken my word for it in the
first place, the bill would have been £20, but with the Lab' Report and
the Cat Scan, it's now £150.00."

:D :D :D

I'm away to change my underwear now.....

:D :D
I had one of my ducks attacked by a fox a few years ago, and I brought it to the vet - he admitted that he'd never stitched up a duck before. Whilst he was sewing away at the duck's back, I made the comment that I'd done the procedure before, but when I had done it, it involved an orange and an onion!​
Top Bottom