boniface
Accelerating Away
Words of Wisdom:
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.
The darkest hour is just before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's milk, that's the time to do it.
Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.
Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
No one is listening until you fart.
Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in his or her shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
If you lend someone 20quid and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
Some days you are the fly; some days you are the windscreen.
Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
Good judgement comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither works.
Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.
The darkest hour is just before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's milk, that's the time to do it.
Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.
Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
No one is listening until you fart.
Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in his or her shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
If you lend someone 20quid and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
Some days you are the fly; some days you are the windscreen.
Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
Good judgement comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither works.
Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
