Englishman, Irishman, Welshman, Scotsman were captured while fighting in a far-off foreign land, and the leader of the captors said: “we're going to line you up in front of a firing squad and shoot you all in turn. But first, you each can make a final wish.”
The Englishman says: “I'd like to hear God Save The Queen just one more time to remind me of the auld country, played by the London All Boys Choir. With Morris Dancers Dancing to the tune.
The Irishman says: “I'd like to hear Danny Boy just one more time to remind me of the auld country, sung in the style of Daniel O'Donnell, with Riverdance dancers skipping gaily to the tune.”
The Welshman says: “I'd like to hear Men Of Harlech just one more time to remind me of the auld country, sung as if by the Aberavon Male Voice Choir.”
The Scotsman says: “I'd like to be shot first.”
If you drop an accordion, a viola and a set of bagpipes off a twenty story building, which hits the ground first?
Who cares?
Q: How can you tell if it's a folksinger at the door?
A: He can't find his key, and he doesn't know when to come in.
I was going to make a joke about opticians, but the more I thought about it, it just seemed cornea and cornea.
Three mechanics were in the bathroom standing at the urinals. The first mechanic finishes and walks over to the sink to wash his hands. He then proceeds to dry his hands very carefully. He uses paper towel after paper towel and ensures that every single spot of water on his hands its dried. Turning to the other two, he says, "At Ford, we are trained to be extremely thorough."
The second mechanic finishes his task at the urinal and he proceeds to wash his hands. He uses a single paper towel and makes sure that he dries his hands using every available portion of the paper towel. He turns and says, "At Chevrolet, not only are we trained to be extremely thorough, but we are also trained to be extremely efficient."
The third mechanic finished and walks straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder: "At Land Rover we don't pee on our hands."
The Englishman says: “I'd like to hear God Save The Queen just one more time to remind me of the auld country, played by the London All Boys Choir. With Morris Dancers Dancing to the tune.
The Irishman says: “I'd like to hear Danny Boy just one more time to remind me of the auld country, sung in the style of Daniel O'Donnell, with Riverdance dancers skipping gaily to the tune.”
The Welshman says: “I'd like to hear Men Of Harlech just one more time to remind me of the auld country, sung as if by the Aberavon Male Voice Choir.”
The Scotsman says: “I'd like to be shot first.”
If you drop an accordion, a viola and a set of bagpipes off a twenty story building, which hits the ground first?
Who cares?
Q: How can you tell if it's a folksinger at the door?
A: He can't find his key, and he doesn't know when to come in.
I was going to make a joke about opticians, but the more I thought about it, it just seemed cornea and cornea.
Three mechanics were in the bathroom standing at the urinals. The first mechanic finishes and walks over to the sink to wash his hands. He then proceeds to dry his hands very carefully. He uses paper towel after paper towel and ensures that every single spot of water on his hands its dried. Turning to the other two, he says, "At Ford, we are trained to be extremely thorough."
The second mechanic finishes his task at the urinal and he proceeds to wash his hands. He uses a single paper towel and makes sure that he dries his hands using every available portion of the paper towel. He turns and says, "At Chevrolet, not only are we trained to be extremely thorough, but we are also trained to be extremely efficient."
The third mechanic finished and walks straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder: "At Land Rover we don't pee on our hands."
