Landy Witch
Big Landy Fan
Looks like she sat down before doctor removed his thermometer !!
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More random stuff that made me laugh!
- Thread starter Big Sandy
- Start date
This ain’t wrong ..
I just fostered a dog!
post another pic after you've put a slice of lime in the top...
What!? And spoil the taste of a lime?
The big bad wolf ...............................
"Social distancing is TWO METRES you tit !"
A Glasgow man phones a dentist to enquire about the cost for a tooth extraction.
85 pounds for an extraction, sir" the dentist replied.
85 quid! Huv ye no'got anythin' cheaper?"
That's the normal charge," said the dentist.
"Whit aboot if ye didnae use any anaesthetic?"
"That's unusual, sir, but I could do it and would knock £15 pounds off."
"Whit aboot if ye used one of your dentist trainees and still without any anaesthetic?"
I can't guarantee their professionalism and it'll be painful. But the price could drop by £20 pounds."
"How aboot if ye make it a trainin' session, ave yer student do the extraction with the other students watchin' and learnin'?"
It'll be good for the students", mulled the dentist. "I'll charge you £5 pounds but it will be traumatic."
"Och, now yer talkin' laddie! It's a deal," said the Scotsman. "Can ye confirm an appointment for the wife for next Tuesday then?"
85 pounds for an extraction, sir" the dentist replied.
85 quid! Huv ye no'got anythin' cheaper?"
That's the normal charge," said the dentist.
"Whit aboot if ye didnae use any anaesthetic?"
"That's unusual, sir, but I could do it and would knock £15 pounds off."
"Whit aboot if ye used one of your dentist trainees and still without any anaesthetic?"
I can't guarantee their professionalism and it'll be painful. But the price could drop by £20 pounds."
"How aboot if ye make it a trainin' session, ave yer student do the extraction with the other students watchin' and learnin'?"
It'll be good for the students", mulled the dentist. "I'll charge you £5 pounds but it will be traumatic."
"Och, now yer talkin' laddie! It's a deal," said the Scotsman. "Can ye confirm an appointment for the wife for next Tuesday then?"
Did you ever wonder why earrings became so popular with men?
A man is at work one day when he notices his colleague is wearing an
earring. The man knows his colleague to be a normally conservative fellow
and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."
The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him
to ask, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"
"Ever since my wife found it in my car."
A man is at work one day when he notices his colleague is wearing an
earring. The man knows his colleague to be a normally conservative fellow
and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."
The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him
to ask, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"
"Ever since my wife found it in my car."
Sir Richard Branson, speaking from Necker Island (his Caribbean private island paradise) warned that airline Virgin Atlantic will need government support in order to survive.
Virgin Australia went into administration 3 days ago leaving debts of about $6.8 billion and it is feared that Virgin Atlantic is also on the brink.
In response, the Treasury have offered Sir Richard, who is reputed to have a personal wealth of £280 billions, a refund amounting to the total sum of taxes he has paid to the Treasury over the past 14 years.
Chancellor Rishi Sunak described it as an ‘unprecedented offer but said that it will be extended only to firms with similar financial circumstances and tax histories.
Asked how much the offer to Branson would cost the UK taxpayer, Mt Sunak said that the Treasury had yet to calculate it exactly, but believes it to be in the region of bugger-all.
Virgin Australia went into administration 3 days ago leaving debts of about $6.8 billion and it is feared that Virgin Atlantic is also on the brink.
In response, the Treasury have offered Sir Richard, who is reputed to have a personal wealth of £280 billions, a refund amounting to the total sum of taxes he has paid to the Treasury over the past 14 years.
Chancellor Rishi Sunak described it as an ‘unprecedented offer but said that it will be extended only to firms with similar financial circumstances and tax histories.
Asked how much the offer to Branson would cost the UK taxpayer, Mt Sunak said that the Treasury had yet to calculate it exactly, but believes it to be in the region of bugger-all.